“As always the Peas finished their performance with the song that had become their rasion d’etre, 2009’s ‘I’ve Gotta Feeling’. William, dressed in an outfit that looked like he had been styled by KITT and the X-Men, glistened with sweat and stood facing the rapturous crowd. “You simple fools,” he thought “Or is it I, who is the one who is the fool to which I am referring?”.
He couldn’t help feeling that it was akin to facing the gaping mouth and vicious teeth of a monster the split second before it swallows you whole. He knew the song was a hit, but it had just become so easy for him. By distilling pop music to its base elements (he immediately made a note to himself that ‘Bass Elements’ would be a good name for his forthcoming line of luxury headphones and continued) he had certainly learned how to manipulate people, but there was just no challenge for him anymore. That song was undeniably the apex of his aesthetic, and its enduring presence at every wedding, bar mitzvah and funeral party he had attended since its year of release proved the number’s lasting power… William was facing the fact that there were no more mountains for him to climb.
Backstage in the Peas dressing room. William plugged his Zune into the speaker and played an instrumental version of ‘Jack’s Lament’ from 1993’s seminal ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’. He began to sing along word perfectly and slink around the room a la the film’s protagonist.
It was simultaneously the saddest and most impressive thing anyone in the room had ever seen.”
An excerpt from ‘Will.He.Was’ a novel by Matthew Bradley.
